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Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
This is a difficult one, and a question of some philosophical significance. So,some of my experience. I have often been told I am lucky to have the skills I have, but sometimes I feel I am cursed with these skills. I struggle with the concept of paying someone else to do some thing I am able to do myself. I have built from scratch, and with no power,two complete houses. Not tiny houses but full size 1000 sq ft houses. I did this because it was the only way I thought I could afford to get the houses I wanted, and I had also been inspired by the Craftsman Built house books of the seventies, so there was some romanticism tied up in this. And lastly I had the skills to build the houses. Together those two houses took up ten years of my holidays and spare time during my late twenties and most of my thirties. I have also built a complete interior into my third home which was an old church, and finished off our current home from an empty but lined shell.
Now I am in my sixties I have been wondering whether I made the right choices, and especially with the two complete houses I built I could have been off having fun, and travelling. And I suspect those house builds were a big contributor to the failure of my first marriage. But looking back there is also a sense of achievement, and I am grateful for the skills I have learned whilst undertaking these building projects. I have also built boats. But have I achieved the right fun to work balance in my life? I don't know.
The last few years I have decided that no more big building projects for me because I just want to relax and enjoy life, and my hands are not what they used to be. But in that decision there was a sense of loss. I have allowed my tools to deteriorate, and I have felt aimless because of the lack of a creative project. So, at age 65 I have just started building another boat. But I hope I have made an intelligent choice in what I am building. It is a six meter sailing catamaran, very light weight, but with comfortable, for the size, accommodation, and hopefully an easily achievable build, but the project is also balanced by the fact I have a boat I can sail on while doing the build, and I have other things going on, including working 4 ten hour days in a job I enjoy, but that leaves me 3 days free each week. Now I have started the build I feel quite invigorated,and I think I can enjoy the project just for the creative aspect, but I am trying not to think about all the epoxy and sanding!
The other thing to keep in mind when undertaking these big projects is 'one step at a time'. If one tries to think of all that needs to be done for the entire project you will very quickly become overwhelmed.
David, it is like an echo! I am in those shoes. I spent 4 years converting a derelict warehouse into 3 dwellings, in order to rent them out, for my pension (self employed people don't tend to retire very comfortably). I did absolutely everything, electrics, plumbing, plastering, painting, because, to my mind, I was cheaper and better than others. Having paid myself a wage for 4 years and the cost of all the materials, I ended up owing more than I had anticipated. I often wonder whether I would have been better off getting a contractor in, who would finish the job in a year, and have an extra 3 years of rent, plus I could have been earning during that time. Yes, it is an absolute curse, although where one draws the line between financial gain and personal satisfaction I am still struggling with. All I know is that, at the age of 67, I have ended up with a huge range of in-depth skills, I would match myself against the best, but I am struggling financially and that is something I can now do nothing about. I definitely made the wrong choices, all down the line.
Andrew
My second attempt at this posting, after deleting my initial response which I felt was rather too verbose.
More simply put, the life of man can be rather tough at times with societal pressures and family obligations often playing a large role in what path one takes. Often obtaining that mix of those obligations and one's own self interest can become blurred, but I think both David and Andrew should be immensely proud of their ability to work with their hands as successfully as you both have described, albeit sometimes at a personal and financial cost.
And it often is not a gender specific issue in our modern times, as increasingly these days the woman is often the main or equal bread winner and feels the same pressure of balancing career and hobby with family responsibilities as far as securing a financial future.
And while you both may have heard it many times before, but I certainly wish I had those hands on skills you (and others on this forum) both possess. I've had to pay a professional to do 70-80% of my refit / conversion , which also has lead sometimes to not having my ideas followed to my satisfaction, and insisting it be redone which can be very frustrating, as well as making things tough on the old wallet.
I also think having regrets, or thinking "what if,,,," is perfectly natural and even healthy, and I am always suspect of people who say they have waltzed through life with nary a regret. I am not saying there are not individuals like that, but it is a rarer state of affairs than I think is the case. Show me the man or woman that has no regrets and made no mistakes, and never wonders "what might have been" and well.....I just don't think these sort of people are being honest with themselves and have become good at rationalising various decisions they have made over the years through rose tinted glasses.
Plus I don't know how you can grow as an individual without making a mistake or having a regret or two, because in order to feel like that you have to have "had a crack" at things and "given it a go" - as it were.
Zane.
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