Given that you have the most forward raking mast of any of us, Annie, your comments are worth noting. If 6 degrees forward rake doesn't do it, nothing will. Also, Arion, being a long keeled boat, is a lot steadier when gybing, I can put the helm up hard without fear, (but then tacking in a seaway is a lot less sure). When I haul the sheet in to gybe, I do not pull the sail in until it is in a close-hauled position, I just pull in about 50% of the sheet, sort of into the beam reach position, which seems to be enough to keep some tension on the sheet as it comes across. Because it is loosely flaked in the cockpit, it starts running back out as soon as the boom passes overhead and, combined with the boat coming up almost onto a beam reach on the new gybe, this seems to soften the impact. I have not gybed in more than 25 knots yet though, and may well choose what Kurt calls the chicken gybe (ie tacking) when I have to gybe in strong winds - especially with a heavy sea running. Then I will be envious of boats like Fantail that tack so well. I may well have to start my engine to do so. Another choice that PJR recommends is to drop the sail altogether and gybe under bare poles. Seems like a lot of work, but since you will only have a few panels up perhaps re-hoisting won't be such a chore as usual. Whatever the decision, I am always mightily relieved when the gybe is complete!
My old bermudian rig has the last laugh here. In strong following winds, if I had any main up at all, it was deeply reefed and gybing it was easy. I'd roll up my jib, flick the main across and unroll the jib again. Of course, that''s not the full story, reefing the main in the first place, perhaps some foredeck work with the jib pole etc, all need to be added to the equation, but that's a story for another time. Gybing a junk sail is a serious job that requires careful preparation but I believe it is manageable. (I fear I am going to be punished for saying that!)
It is also interesting that Annie mentions that gybing Badger was a lot less stressful. I wonder if that is because Badger's sails, being schooner-rigged, were of a higher aspect ratio than our sloops, ie had shorter spars than our relatively large, low aspect single sails do?